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The Next Cycle

Yep, another cycle has begun.
Month 13, cycle 11, Clomid round 3.

The past few days have been full of tears, frustration, questions, and doubt. And prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. I have to remind myself every morning that God has a great big plan, and it's better than anything I could imagine. We are struggling with infertility for a reason. This phase of life has a specific purpose. I just need to follow Jesus, pray, and wait for His timing in this.

As we start our 13th month of trying to conceive (TTC) my Facebook newsfeed continues to be flooded with pregnancy announcements & complaints over certain symptoms, baby pictures, and all around happiness. It's a struggle, and to be honest with you, I've unfollowed almost all of my pregnant and recently-given-birth friends. Don't get me wrong, I still love you and want to hear about your life and your precious babies. I just need to be able to do it in my time, not every time I open Facebook.

I just got back from the fertility doctor and he wants to change it up a little this cycle. This will be our third cycle on the fertility medication Clomid. The first cycle was a great success. Well, maybe not great since I didn't get pregnant, but the medication at least gave me what the doc called a "strong ovulation". Granted it wasn't until cycle day 45 that ovulation actually occurred. Last cycle I didn't have a strong ovulation, I wasn't able to pick up my LH surge (the hormone that surges just before ovulation) meaning I didn't get a positive ovulation test (OPK). I had to go into the doctor for an ultrasound and blood draw last cycle to confirm that I had ovulated. He estimated that it happened between cycle day 18-21. Obviously that cycle wasn't a great success either. I am also now having to take progesterone supplements because I have low progesterone, which is one of the predominant pregnancy hormones. It hasn't been that terrible taking the progesterone, though it artificially lengthens the time after ovulation and before the next cycle (aka the two week wait or TWW), so it makes you dream that you are pregnant because you are late for your period.

So, this time we are trying something new. This cycle I will still be on Clomid to help ovulation, but now mid-cycle the doctor wants to check my ovaries to see if there is a maturing follicle & egg and then give me a shot of Ovidrel to trigger ovulation at an earlier cycle day than my last 2 cycles. Also, the trigger shot will enable us to better pinpoint when ovulation will happen so we can have sex, or baby dance (BD) at the right times.

Though I would love to have gotten pregnant without all this help/medicine I am incredibly thankful that we live in a place that has these technologies, and we are blessed to be able to afford to go to this doctor and get these medications. Always look at the positives, right? And heck, maybe fertility drugs will give us 2 or 3 babies at once. I'd totally be ok with that!!

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