We've reached the point of taking yet another "next step" in our infertility journey.
Today is day 3 of cycle 14 in month 16.
Sixteen.
Sixteen months.
We have been trying, clearly unsuccessfully, for almost a year and a half.
It has been an incredibly emotional 16 months. So many things have happened in the time that this one thing is not. My grandmother died almost 10 months ago. My mother shattered her shoulder and had surgery for replacement. My husband had an emergency appendectomy. Work reduced my hours and pushed me to part time. We got the most adorable puppy in November. We celebrated our 2nd and 3rd wedding anniversaries. We've celebrated with many friends as they got engaged and married. We have countless friends who have gotten pregnant and had their babies.
Most importantly we've grown closer to each other as husband and wife & have learned better ways to communicate. We've also learned many things that are not effective when it comes to communication. And we are continuing to learn what it looks like to truly lean on and into God. So many times over the past sixteen months I've gotten angry at God. I've been furious that this one thing that I want so badly He is seeming to withhold from me. I've questioned what I'm doing wrong, trying to figure out what I need to change about myself or my personality to get Him to bless us with a baby. Though I'm still working through a lot I also feel like I've already grown a good deal since this all started. Even through the many times that I have questioned God He has never left me. He has not walked away when I've gotten angry or yelled out at Him in frustration. And I am beyond thankful for His faithfulness even when I lose my way.
This cycle we move on to the next step. This cycle will be our first attempt at IUI, intrauterine insemination. I'll spare you the details and instead let you read about this procedure with the links below:
http://americanpregnancy.org/infertility/intrauterine-insemination/
http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/intrauterine-insemination/basics/definition/prc-20018920
http://www.advancedfertility.com/insem.htm
Praying for God's favor and provision that this cycle will be the one. But also that I will simply continue to grow closer to Him no matter what happens.
Today is day 3 of cycle 14 in month 16.
Sixteen.
Sixteen months.
We have been trying, clearly unsuccessfully, for almost a year and a half.
It has been an incredibly emotional 16 months. So many things have happened in the time that this one thing is not. My grandmother died almost 10 months ago. My mother shattered her shoulder and had surgery for replacement. My husband had an emergency appendectomy. Work reduced my hours and pushed me to part time. We got the most adorable puppy in November. We celebrated our 2nd and 3rd wedding anniversaries. We've celebrated with many friends as they got engaged and married. We have countless friends who have gotten pregnant and had their babies.
Most importantly we've grown closer to each other as husband and wife & have learned better ways to communicate. We've also learned many things that are not effective when it comes to communication. And we are continuing to learn what it looks like to truly lean on and into God. So many times over the past sixteen months I've gotten angry at God. I've been furious that this one thing that I want so badly He is seeming to withhold from me. I've questioned what I'm doing wrong, trying to figure out what I need to change about myself or my personality to get Him to bless us with a baby. Though I'm still working through a lot I also feel like I've already grown a good deal since this all started. Even through the many times that I have questioned God He has never left me. He has not walked away when I've gotten angry or yelled out at Him in frustration. And I am beyond thankful for His faithfulness even when I lose my way.
This cycle we move on to the next step. This cycle will be our first attempt at IUI, intrauterine insemination. I'll spare you the details and instead let you read about this procedure with the links below:
http://americanpregnancy.org/infertility/intrauterine-insemination/
http://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/intrauterine-insemination/basics/definition/prc-20018920
http://www.advancedfertility.com/insem.htm
Praying for God's favor and provision that this cycle will be the one. But also that I will simply continue to grow closer to Him no matter what happens.
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