Perils of Parenting

There is always something we’re (I’m) doing wrong.

Breastfeeding. We all know that “breast is best”. Breastmilk is often referred to as “liquid gold”. I mean come on, it’s packed with all kinds of nutrients, vitamins, and immune system boosters for baby. But even though we know this information, and we know how important it is to breastfeed babies we scorn and chastise moms doing such a great thing for their babies, just because they are doing so in public. How can we say “breast is best” and then in the same breath add “but only if I don’t have to see the baby eating?” On the other side of that is moms who are often shamed, whether outright or in whispers, when they do not breastfeed. Breastfeeding is hard, y’all (or so I’ve heard). There are SO many reasons why breastfeeding might not work for a mom and her baby. And as a passer-by (or even family/friend) you have absolutely no right to condemn a mom for pulling out a bottle and formula. You don’t know their story, enough with the shaming already.

Bottles, sippy cups, pacifiers, and more. Anyone walked through the mall lately and seen that 4 year old sucking on a pacifier or the 3 year old knocking back a bottle of milk? Yeah, of course we have. What has our response been? Looks of shame towards the parents that they aren’t doing it right. Are there developmental, and dental, reasons to get rid of these things? Absolutely. Sucking a bottle, pacifier, or even sippy cup too long can cause tooth decay, move baby teeth, and even exacerbate speech delays. But y’all, parenting is hard and I’m sure you’ve said this phrase a time or two, “pick your battles.” Maybe the kid doesn’t always have the bottle but it’s the only way to keep him happy in public (read it’s the only way to keep him from having a meltdown in public, where we would all stare at and shame the parents for not keeping their kid under control).

And on that, “keeping our kids under control” nonsense. They aren’t little adults. They are children. They don’t know how to keep themselves under control, much less listen to us frustrated adults as we make feeble attempts at maintaining order. Developmentally speaking, young children test limits and push boundaries to figure out the rules and learn social behavior. They don’t do it because they are bad, they do it because they are learning. And if we parents aren’t able to take our young children out in public because we fear being shamed for tantrums they will never have the opportunity to learn how to act appropriately in just such situations.

Then there is the current battle in my household, the toddler bed transition. I’m glad all the “experts” have a two year time frame, 1.5-3.5 years old, that is acceptable for this change, because I just gave up and put the crib rail back up for my two year old. I started the trial with the toddler bed yesterday at nap time. She sleeps on a mat a daycare, and has since she was between 12 and 18 months old. I hear that she’s great there, she goes to sleep and doesn’t get up until she’s told. So I (mistakenly) thought she would want a “big girl bed” now that she’s two. She was excited when I put the toddler rail up yesterday morning. We talked about it, and I set out the rules about staying in bed. Then nap time came. It wasn’t pretty. We battled back and forth, in and out of the bed, for almost an hour. She ended up falling asleep on the floor. Bedtime wasn’t much easier, then bubba woke us all up at 3:24 this morning. It took almost 2 hours to get her back to sleep for an extra 1.5 hours of sleep, for her anyways. Then, after 30 minutes of battling to get her to nap I gave up and put her in bubba’s crib so I could put her crib rail back up. She fell asleep in his crib within 10 minutes. So I’ll take that as she’s not ready for a toddler bed at home and hope that she continues to do well on the mat at school, and we will try again in a few months.

#parentingfail #parentingwin #stopallthejudgement #stopmomshaming

And now I think I'll go nap while she does...