They say the statistic for miscarriage is 10-25% per 100 pregnancies in the US.
1 in 4 women will experience this loss.
Personally I know more women who have miscarried, some more than once, than that statistic allows.
I am now part of that statistic.
Friday May 26, 2017 after just over 3 years of trying to conceive we got our first ever positive pregnancy test. The test line showed up almost immediately. Of course, it was a Dollar Tree test so we had to test again with a Clear Blue digital later in the evening (after 3 years you learn to buy the cheap ones before double checking with the expensive ones.) Both tests were positive. The screen of the digital pregnancy test read positive. It was surreal. Was this really happening? After waiting so long was this dream becoming reality?
Five days later the dream began to fade and concern and fear crept in. On Wednesday I began spotting. After initial concern and a call to the nurse at my new Ob/gyn office I was reassured that this type of thing can be very normal in a pregnancy. As the spotting turned into bleeding I felt uneasy and called my infertility doctor, who I haven't seen in over a year, and he fit me in on Thursday morning for an ultrasound. He found the baby pretty quickly. I was so relieved. He showed me the baby and told me that it was measuring at 5 weeks and 5 days. That was smaller than I had expected, but we reasoned that away with late ovulation and again I was relieved. I left the doctors office with ultrasound pictures in hand, something I never ever thought I'd get. I was cautiously optimistic that the baby would be ok.
Friday it became increasingly difficult to remain optimistic. I had a nagging feeling that something was wrong accompanied by even more, heavier, bleeding. Friday night I knew it was over. With everything that happened there was no way the baby was ok. It was intense for a few hours but then subsided. The bleeding continued. The pregnancy was over.
Today it was confirmed by the doctor that I had in fact lost the baby.
I don't know why God has made this miscarriage a part of my story now. There have been so many ups and downs over the last three years. Reflecting back when we adopted our daughter I knew that all the pain and every tear shed was to get us to that point. If it hadn't been for all that we went through we wouldn't have her; and I'd go through every bit of that pain all over again for her.
I do know that God absolutely has a plan for this and a reason for the loss of this baby to be a part of my story. I pray that over time my heart heals and that He reveals this to me.
"'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"
1 in 4 women will experience this loss.
Personally I know more women who have miscarried, some more than once, than that statistic allows.
I am now part of that statistic.
Friday May 26, 2017 after just over 3 years of trying to conceive we got our first ever positive pregnancy test. The test line showed up almost immediately. Of course, it was a Dollar Tree test so we had to test again with a Clear Blue digital later in the evening (after 3 years you learn to buy the cheap ones before double checking with the expensive ones.) Both tests were positive. The screen of the digital pregnancy test read positive. It was surreal. Was this really happening? After waiting so long was this dream becoming reality?
Five days later the dream began to fade and concern and fear crept in. On Wednesday I began spotting. After initial concern and a call to the nurse at my new Ob/gyn office I was reassured that this type of thing can be very normal in a pregnancy. As the spotting turned into bleeding I felt uneasy and called my infertility doctor, who I haven't seen in over a year, and he fit me in on Thursday morning for an ultrasound. He found the baby pretty quickly. I was so relieved. He showed me the baby and told me that it was measuring at 5 weeks and 5 days. That was smaller than I had expected, but we reasoned that away with late ovulation and again I was relieved. I left the doctors office with ultrasound pictures in hand, something I never ever thought I'd get. I was cautiously optimistic that the baby would be ok.
Friday it became increasingly difficult to remain optimistic. I had a nagging feeling that something was wrong accompanied by even more, heavier, bleeding. Friday night I knew it was over. With everything that happened there was no way the baby was ok. It was intense for a few hours but then subsided. The bleeding continued. The pregnancy was over.
Today it was confirmed by the doctor that I had in fact lost the baby.
I don't know why God has made this miscarriage a part of my story now. There have been so many ups and downs over the last three years. Reflecting back when we adopted our daughter I knew that all the pain and every tear shed was to get us to that point. If it hadn't been for all that we went through we wouldn't have her; and I'd go through every bit of that pain all over again for her.
I do know that God absolutely has a plan for this and a reason for the loss of this baby to be a part of my story. I pray that over time my heart heals and that He reveals this to me.
"'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"
Blessings by Laura Story
Psalm 27:13-14
I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.
Psalm 28:6-8
Blessed be the Lord! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed.
My heart breaks for your loss, Sarah. I hope you discover soon why God wanted this to be part of your story. I love you!
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