Skip to main content

Fostering and Infertility

Y'all, we've been parents for 6 weeks now.
We've been parents of two for 3 weeks.

Life has changed drastically in the last 6 weeks, and we love it.
We just experienced our first Christmas with babies who were having their first Christmases. So much fun. We got to go see Santa at the Bass Pro Shops with our older baby and she did great; we got an incredible picture with Santa that I'm sad we can't share. She was so happy in his lap, she had a huge smile on her face!! We now have a plethora of items that say "Baby's First Christmas" and I love it.

Seven weeks ago I couldn't tell you what day of the week it was without first thinking about what day of the cycle I was in, today I can't tell you what day of the week it is at all without remembering what day it was yesterday or looking at the calendar on my phone; I have no idea what cycle day it is without looking at an app on my phone, and that feels amazing. The last 6 weeks have been crazy, hectic, fun, hard, and wonderful all at the same time.

I believe that God has truly been at work in our lives these last several weeks. I am so much more at peace now than I had been the last two years. Even though these babies may only be in my house for a short period of time I know this is exactly what we are supposed to be doing right now.

Initially when we decided to reopen as a foster home we thought we would continue on our current course with our fertility treatments, six weeks into it with two littles that is probably not the plan any longer. Infertility has been stressful. Everything I've read about IVF says that it's stressful. Foster parenting is rewarding, but also stressful. Knowing all of that, and still not having a full time job with benefits to help with the costs associated with IVF, we will be holding off on IVF or further fertility treatments for a few more months, and I'm totally ok with that.


Our cars now have two car seats. Our schedules are determined by when the babies need to eat and sleep. Our plans are scheduled around bedtimes. I LOVE it all. Our laundry is filled with tiny clothes and socks, and it has to be done daily. There are formula cans and baby food jars in our pantry. Our Amazon cart is filled with things we hope to save up enough to buy (things like double strollers and extra infant car seat bases). My nights are more sleepless and my days contain fewer naps. It's all worth it.

This is so not the plan I had for our lives. I believe that it is God's plan. The pain from the last two years disappears when I look at the little faces of the girls God has entrusted to our care. I absolutely still desire to bear our children, but having these two babies in the house has made the pain of not being able to do that yet so much more bearable.

Please continue to join us in prayer for our ability to care for these babies; for their biological families and the plans God has for them. Pray for our own ability to have children and our desire to parent babies who will remain ours, whether through birth or adoption.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Miscarriage

They say the statistic for miscarriage is 10-25% per 100 pregnancies in the US. 1 in 4 women will experience this loss. Personally I know more women who have miscarried, some more than once, than that statistic allows. I am now part of that statistic. Friday May 26, 2017 after just over 3 years of trying to conceive we got our first ever positive pregnancy test. The test line showed up almost immediately. Of course, it was a Dollar Tree test so we had to test again with a Clear Blue digital later in the evening (after 3 years you learn to buy the cheap ones before double checking with the expensive ones.) Both tests were positive. The screen of the digital pregnancy test read positive. It was surreal. Was this really happening? After waiting so long was this dream becoming reality? Five days later the dream began to fade and concern and fear crept in. On Wednesday I began spotting. After initial concern and a call to the nurse at my new Ob/gyn office I was reassured th...
1 comment
Read more

Open, Ready, and Waiting

We are once again an open foster home! We were officially approved last Friday and opened for kids a couple of days ago. We are incredibly excited and so ready for that call that there is a baby who needs us. As excited and ready to help as we are we also know that for us to get a baby like this it means that a family is being taken apart, and that is heart wrenching. The jobs that I have had over the years have placed struggling families in my life in a variety of ways. Through working at daycares I was able to see so many working moms and dads striving to make the lives of their children good and fun. At Early Head Start I worked with some incredibly vulnerable families and children; the struggle these parents went through to make a good life for their children was evident. Some did a better job than others, some struggled constantly. These children lacked rules and boundaries and didn't know how to get love and attention without behaving badly. My work at the variou...
Post a Comment
Read more

Coming Out of the Infertility Closet

As long as I can remember I've wanted to be a mother. I've always loved babies, just ask my mom. She will tell you how at age 12 I told her I wanted to be a mom. How I loved playing with baby dolls when I was young and as I got older I gravitated towards babies and kids. She will tell you how I always asked to hold babies at church. I've loved babies as long as I can remember. My love of babies and children eventually led me to get my bachelors degree from Baylor in Child and Family studies. Which led to a career in Child Life. Then eventually to my current position as a developmental therapist. This love is what has made the last almost 18 months so incredibly painful. As I sit here on cycle day 5 after our second failed IUI attempt--one that carried a 25% chance at success, one with medications both pills and injectables, one that I was able to feel so hopeful about--I wanted to share with you all the pieces of my heart that have been breaking all these months. ...
1 comment
Read more