Building a Bethards

Y'all. Life is busy. Caring for an on-the-move 9 month old and a special needs 5 month old is, well, busy. Yep, you read that right. We currently have a 9 month old AND a 5 month old. Two infants. Approximately 4 months apart in age. We are just that crazy. There is so much I wish I could say here. So many stories and cute things I want to share. SO many pictures of adorable smiles and videos of sweet laughter that I can't share with you all. It's been almost three months since my last update and so much has happened in the time that has passed. It's amazing how much life can happen in what feels like such a short time, but also how slow time can move when waiting for specific dates. Sometimes it's as though life is passing me by, like I'm standing on the sidelines while everyone else is moving forward. As foster parents it can feel like we are living two separate lives. The one that everyone knows about and sees, and one that is secretive and hidden to...

I realized the other day that it has been two months since I last posted. That is how crazy life has been lately. Foster parenting sometimes feels like a whirlwind. Well, maybe more like a hurricane I think. Lots of crazy, followed by some calm, then a little more crazy before the calm comes back. It's like a roller coaster of hurricanes. Constantly. As soon as you adjust to a new normal something changes and you have to adjust all over again. Then, before you get fully adjusted something else happens and you start all over. It's hard. It's crazy. It's worth it. In the two months since I last posted so much has happened. We had court dates for both our girls. It's incredible how many parts and people are involved in each and every case. Caseworkers, foster parents, biological parents, kids, attorneys--for each party at that, supervisors, the list can go on. Three weeks ago tomorrow we assisted our older foster daughter in her reunification with her biologica...

Yep, that's right. We've now been unsuccessful at conceiving a child for two years now. I've come a long, long, long, way personally since those first few months. Heck, that first year was killer. Surgery was supposed to make it happen. Medication was supposed to make it happen. Procedures were supposed to make it happen. God is the only one who can actually make it happen. Though we've not given up trying to conceive a biological child we are also not pursuing anything medically to help us do so. We are good where we are, and if God blesses us with a biological child then we will be thrilled. But I'm done obsessing over it. A few months back I began this post and wanted to share it now. It's been on my heart lately to write this, but I hadn't been able to find the words (or time) to get out what I want to say. Before I came out about our struggle to conceive a child my life was all about keeping up the appearance of "having it all together."...

Well, we've had two babies for 7 weeks now. It finally feels like we've settled into a new normal. And let me tell you this normal is crazy. I've had so many ideas the past several weeks about things to blog. Clearly none of them contained enough content to become actual posts. That's just how my brain is now, all over the place. All. The. Time. Life with two littles under the age of one is a little insane. I'd like to be able to say that it's all fun all the time. If I did that I would be lying to you, so I'm not going to say that. This life definitely has its ups and good times, but there is also a fair amount of tears and screaming--from the babies and from us parents. The older of the two littles has had a hard go of life so far and my heart hurts for her when she is hurting because she is still struggling with trust and feeling safe. Due to this she has horrible screaming fits when she is tired or hungry. The poor girl, when she gets so tired she w...